AC Black Flag – Edward Kenway Whaler Outfit cosplay WIP [part 1]

Arr me mateys!

Yeah I know, I have a lot of unfinished cosplays lying around and yes, I'm starting a new one. Thing is that as I study sewing and fashion I have to do various garments in school and why not incorporate cosplay into it? :D 

So my task was to make a shirt – normally this should have been like a collared, standard buttoned shirt but that's boring as fuck so I decided to make a 1700s pirate shirt instead. More exactly the shirt that Edward Kenway wears on his Whaler Outfit (it's an alternate outfit in the game) in Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag. I gotta admit that I haven't been able to find a single cosplay of this particular outfit and so I suspect I might be the first one to do this. *puts on hipster frames*

This post is long and photo-heavy as it covers the whole shirt WIP from start to finish.

Reference image taken from the Assassin's Creed fandom wiki.

Now I had to do a lot of research into historical fashion before attempting this project and while I'm obviously not making anything 100% accurately hell no I ain't handsewing everything lol because then I'd have to omit all the pattern making parts and that would basically disqualify me from using the school project for the creation of this cosplay lmao. Also, I spent a good amount of time staring at Edward in the game and a bunch of details that should, historically speaking, be on his clothes were not there (sleeve gussets etc) so I don't feel too bad with selectively choosing methods lol.

The hard part with this outfit is that I was unable to find any kind of concept art or such and thus my only references are literally from the game, and that makes things a bit hard as there's no way to, well, undress Edward. xD Most of the shirt is hidden because of that brown vest and all the weapons piled on top, but thankfully I found a video on Youtube where someone had managed to pull off what I assume is a glitch to get Edward unarmed (it shouldn't be possible) to get a slightly better view on the outfit and yes, this video was helpful for me because when I paused at a few super specific frames I could see the lacing on the front which is normally hidden by the guns.

Rough model reference.

So the first thing I did was to figure out what I'm actually making, so I scrambled together a rough draft of the shirt model and some details about what it looks like. Those seams on the upper half of the sleeves were hella confusing for both me and my teacher for the longest time – what are they?? 

I had plowed through historical fashion articles online for hours and not found any mention nor example of what those seams were for and not a single photo of a recreated nor intact survived garment had those. So I came to the conclusion that it's got to be some Assassin's Creed bullshit that just looks cool. xD But more about this later!

I ordered a fabric swatch through the school from this one big wholesale online store in Finland. I originally wanted a full linen fabric but settled for a cotton and linen blend as it was what was available and might be a bit easier for maintenance. Maybe.

Test fabric swatch! It was literally perfect. Just what I hoped for!

So I ordered like 5 meters of the stuff and played the waiting game. I don't remember what the price was but it was a lot cheaper than I thought, that's for sure. Meanwhile I waited I started working on the patterns, and because this was done in school I couldn't just take a close-enough ready pattern and modify it – I had to make it from scratch.

I'm unsure what it's called in English but whenever you start sewing any piece of clothing you have to make a "peruskaava" (literally translates to something like 'basic pattern') of your own measurements that you then modify to look like the model of the intended garment.

Drafting of the basic pattern before any modifications.

Before doing this pattern in natural (aka big) size I had to do a miniature twice to learn how to do it, first with the measures of a "perfect model" for practice and then with my own measures. I hate doing patterns oh my god. Drafting patterns is by far my least favorite aspect of sewing and my weak point. I'm horrible at math so that's probably one of the reasons why...

My fabric arrived!

Around a week or so later my fabric arrived. I was still in the middle of finishing my patterns so I let it be for a few days while I was busy modifying the base pattern to look like Edward's shirt. Modifications included for example widening and straightening the whole thing including sleeves, changing the neckline, lowering armholes, lengthening it and adding slits to the sides for easier movement. Can't be a stiff assassin!

Pattern modification in progress, aka "kuosittelu" in Finnish.

On the photo above you can see what modifications I did and how. The sleeve is the one furthest away. I basically cut every piece (front, back and sleeve) in two parts to add width in the middle, this is to keep the rest of the dimensions from being screwed up.

Made a prototype from the modified patterns.

As soon as I had finished modifying the patterns I cut out the pieces from a cheap cotton fabric to do a test mockup. Wouldn't want to cut straight into the real fabric and notice that something's horribly wrong... :)
Meanwhile I did that I had also crammed the whole real fabric into a washing mashine to shrink it. It didn't come pre-shrunk and because we're in a proper learning environment (höhö) we actually have to bother with this part. I have sinned and gotta admit, I never did it at home. It honestly feels pretty bad when you pop in your whole bunch of fabric and then watch it magically shrink and become wrinkly and you sit there and think "I paid good money for this fabric that just literally disappeared". xD It's kind of a bummer but something you have to deal with and yeah, because this was a cotton and linen blend it shrunk a lot. Oof.

Shrunk fabric drying. #wrinklyforlife

Well, at least it's gonna look worn with those forevermore wrinkles lol. I tried to iron them away but they just wouldn't go. I kinda don't even mind, in fact I was considering throwing in a tennis ball to make the fabric look naturally weathered. But I didn't.

Mockup test wear, sleeve poof edition.

Once the mockup was deemed good I cut into the real fabric. I decided early on that I wanted to eliminate visible seams as much as possible, especially finishes like zigzag. This made me decide on doing French seams (aka bag seam or reversed seam) on most of the construction. It makes progress a tiny bit slower than normal but it's worth it.

Always start by sewing the shoulder seams together.

For every seam that I did I pressed them open to get a cleaner finish and make the next step easier. I'm pretty sure I had done a mistake on that photo above and had to rip it up because yeah, when you do French seams you have to put wrong sides together instead of the usual right sides together. xD It messed with my head the first few times until I got a hang of it, lol.

And now we get to the part I told you about. Namely those weird-ass seams on the sleeves. 

Snapped this screenshot from the game, for reference.

What is their purpose?? I was dumbfounded, I don't even know what I'm looking at. My original guess was that it's some sort of supporting seam to alleviate strain or something as Edward is a working man (I mean he was a moderately poor farmer's son before he became a privateer-turned-pirate) and the outfit in question is called whaler outfit. But when I googled like 18th century whalers I found nothing about their worn clothes and, if I did, it looked nothing like what Edward wears. So my next plan of action was searching for what sailors and pirates wore during that time period and even there I found no such mention about a sleeve seam like that.
So after getting no historically based results I rounded it up to being artistic liberty from the game makers and decided that I can create it however the fuck I want, as long as it looks the part. I mean, there is some room for different interpretations but I ultimately settled to make it not a seam but like a decorational band that runs on top of the sleeve.

Placement testing.

So I cut out these strips of the same fabric, around 5 cm wide, and folded in the edges. I test-pinned them on top of the sleeves to find the correct position. This took some testing with me running back and forth into the fitting room and pinning myself with needles. I eventually found a placement that looked reasonable and was at the same assumed height as Edward's, except on my body.

I baste stitched the strip in place to keep it from moving while sewing.

It's a bit hard to explain how I did this part as I wanted to avoid visible seams on the strips save for the one in the middle that separates the soon-to-be-added "fillings". So I had folded in the edges, after zigzaging them of course, and I intentionally ironed them so that one side was slightly longer than the other so that there would be a slight overlap. I then baste stitched one of the ends to the bodice of the sleeve by hand, to keep it from moving, while I then sewed a straight stitch just at the fold line.

Like this.

Rinse and repeat for the second sleeve. One tiny lil' problem though, I had to get the same curvature on the second sleeve as I had on the first. Luckily there's a solution to everything.

Life hack! Pin trails to the rescue.

With the sleeves sewn up to the same point I had to start wondering about what to use as "filling", if anything. My original idea was to just keep the strips flat but the more I thought about it, the more boring it felt. I wanted to add some dimension to it, make it stand out a bit – make it a bit more 3D I guess. I figured I'd try with some leftover cord the school had lying around.

This was my method of pulling the cord through.

It gave some additional thickness albeit not a lot. And there wasn't enough of that cord for both my sleeves anyway so it only worked for a test and yeah, for the real deal I needed to find something else. I quickly remembered that mom has a ton of cords in different colors and so I sent a text message and asked if we happened to have one in this natural white color. Turns out we did so she would bring it some days later. 

Also, on the photo above you can see that I had done the middle, separating seam to turn the strip into two "tunnels". The thing I mentioned earlier about the edges overlapping is also the reason why, once I did the middle seam, the strip was actually secured because the overlap got caught under the seam and thus attached. It's hard to explain but on the cross-sectional views I made (it's at the end of this post) it is easy to make out what I mean. ^^"

Meanwhile I waited for the cord I worked on the neckline instead. I basically just added the facing. Nothing special here, I just ironed on some light interfacing, cut notches to make it fold over nicely and yada yada.

Facing added.

One thing I did do slightly differently was doing that one uniting (err idk what to call it) seam on the facing's side so that when you turn it over there's, once again, no visible seam on the front.

This kinda shows what I mean.

Soon enough my cord arrived, the whole roll of it. I wriggled the cord through the passage once again with the method shown above, which basically means I attached the cord's end to some thread and the thread I tied to a safety pin which I then pushed through the tunnel using my hands. This method was not fool-proof though as the thread did end up breaking once or twice because it got stuck and I pushed too hard, forcing me to start over.

Umm... not what I had expected but okay?

Once I had the cord inserted I noticed that it somehow pushed the other side of the strip up towards the sky. It looked really wonky and even more so when I tried it on. I had not accounted for that but thankfully it was a pretty easy fix.

Hand-sewing! These stitches only show if you look from above.

I hand-sewed the upper side of the strip down, to keep it from protruding, by sewing sneakily on the underside. This method once again saved me from a visible seam. Of course I did this after having inserted the cord into both sides.

Cleaned up model drawing.

With those weird sleeve things out of the way I could finally focus on the cuffs. Now everyone knows that 18th century shirts often had poofy, ruffled sleeves gathered at the wrists. And Edward kinda does too. But the thing is that back then elastics weren't invented so I couldn't just do the easy "add an elastic and call it a day" approach but had to make it the, well, proper way.

I stared at my references and figured that the tightening systems have to be on the underside of the sleeve. My only option was to use some kind of cord, leather strings or such but before I decided on that I had to create the passage for the thing to pass through. This was very easy, I once again made a strip of some leftover fabric I had, zigzaged the edges and just simply sewed them on at the edges. Now I of course got visible seams but that's pretty much unavoidable and on the game model there definitely is a seam or two going on there anyway.

Placement prepping for the sleeve gatherers.

My original plan was to use leather strings for the job because it would feel rather authentic. I will return to this later because there's a reason I say "original plan", haha.

Yep, I really wanted to use leather at first.

So with those passages done I started to actually attach the sleeves to the bodice. I don't remember exactly what happened here but there was something with the sleeve being too big in regards to the armhole, I think. Whatever it was I had to lower the armhole to make up for the difference before I could attach them together and make it look reasonable and not like a dumpster fire just unleashed.

Modifying on the spot. I cut off that curve you see sticking out from the bodice.

Next up was sewing the sleeves closed and continuing all the way down the sides. Of course I left the lower ends unsewn because I would add slits later.
At this point I ran into the single most frustrating part of the whole project in terms of sewing, namely that those weirdass upper sleeve things were being annoying little bastards having the cord ends peeking out when I tried to sew that side seam closed. >_> You see, I intentionally left a little bit of extra length for each cord that I inserted, so that they would not disappear into the passage while I was putting glue on the edges to keep them from unravelling. Yeah, because the cord was cotton I couldn't simply just burn them to seal the edges. So this extra length wasn't much but it was more than enough to cause trouble once I got to that point while I was attempting to close the side seams. The thing is that I needed to tuck the cords away from the path of the stitching and this was extra hard to keep track off because, once again, I only did French seams.

I almost got it but then this lil' son-of-a-bitch
poked his head out and I had to undo. ;_;

I had to redo the same sleeve at least three times because the "tucking allowance" was so minimal and there was almost no room for any error, aka slippage of the cord. Even harder it was because the French seam had to keep a specific, consistent sewing distance (to not exceed the seam allowances) and it was a battle of like a literal millimeter or two to keep the cords from not poking out. I'd be lying if I said no perkeles escaped my lips. :))

Test fitting once I finally got the sides closed.

I could see the end, I was almost done! Now I only had to finish the slits and add the lacing to the neckline and I could call it mission complete. But it wasn't that easy as I had to do a quick test again on cheap cotton fabric to be able to wrap my head around how the heck you make a slit while you also have a French seam. And my teacher wasn't any wiser either so a test it was. xD

This was the test conclusion on how it should be done.

Once you could visualize what you had to do it wasn't nearly as much of a headache as it first seemed. In fact it was quite easy – you just cut into the French seam at the intended beginning point of the slit and then fold the edges accordingly to the sides.

And here's the slit on my actual shirt.

But because I cut into the fabric I created raw edges where there weren't any before, and this meant that I had to secure these somehow. Using the sewing machine wasn't really an option because it was such a small area and those folded edges were already sewn in place, which meant that once again I had to hand-stitch. To get the best finish and most security I did buttonhole stitches.

Sadly I noticed at this point that the leather strings for the sleeve gathers I worked at earlier did just not work as smoothly as I had envisioned. The leather kinda got stuck (likely due to the surface texture causing friction) and it felt like it would snap if I applied force. It should be noted though that these leather strings were old ones my teacher had originally bought for some jewelry projects that she forgot about, possibly like 30 years ago. xD So that might be a reason why lolol.

So with not much else to choose from I went back to the trusty cord my mom had brought me. At least I don't suffer from bad conscience because the cord is actually full cotton and not polyester, which is the norm lol.

Omfg it works! :DD

I changed the leather strings for the cords and went to do another test fitting. Gotta admit that I was nervous, would it work? I pulled the ends and the sleeve gathered sooooo much smoother, bingo! The difference was pretty whack, using the cords it just slid through with little effort and felt really solid. Only thing is that I will need an extra pair of hands to help me tie the cord ends together every time I wear the costume out. xD It's stupidly hard to do yourself lmao.

With that done I only had the lacing left to do I had already hemmed the sleeve edges and the bottom of the shirt previously. I wanted to do the holes for the strings to run through without damaging the fabric and so I decided on using an older method, the same one used for Finnish folk costumes (or that's what my teacher said). So to start with I of course had to mark out where the holes would be. By watching that video earlier I could make out that there's at least four guaranteed holes and that's what I decided to go by as I wanted it to look simple.

Holes marking and one hole in progress.

You see that huge metallic thing on the photo above? It basically looks like an oversized hand-sewing needle and that's the specialty tool I used. It forces a hole into the fabric without breaking or damaging any fibers. After I got a hole I had to enlarge it somehow and for that I used those orange scissor things in the back of the photo; I basically pressed the blades closed, so that they wouldn't cut anything, and used the scissors as a sort of drill to carefully dig the hole bigger. I repeated the process for all four holes and, once that was done, I took out the hand-sewing stuff again and buttonhole stitched around the edges super tightly.

I had planned to use the leather strings as the lacing (I wanted some use out of them) but I noticed after pulling them around that they actually colored the fabric! It wasn't the end of the world as a worn look wouldn't actually be bad for this particular costume, but I decided on using something else just to be on the safe side. I was worried if it would bleed during rain, for example. 

And then I remembered that shiny cord I had used for the test on those weird sleeve things... and lo' and behold there was enough of it to use for the lacing! But before I decided on using it I wanted to make sure what it was actually made of – you see, I did not want to use any chemical fibers for historical accuracy's sake. 

So, umm, I took that bit of cord with me home and did a burn test to determine material. I'm gonna admit that I was expecting it to be chemical so yeah, when I stood in my kitchen with the lighter and lit it on fire I was not prepared for it to flare up and burn so effectively that I had to drop it in water to get it to stop. xD I legit thought I'd start the fire alarm because it smelled awful for the next couple hours (even with the windows open)! When I soon after touched the burnt surface the ash crumbled in my fingers into these tiny tiny particles – it was silk. I could use it. 

Thanks for reading this far, below's the completed shirt:

Shirt front.

Shirt back/side.

This was a fun project, somewhat challenging but not too hard. In hindsight I feel like maybe the facing made the neckline look "too clean" but my teacher insisted on that it's a must-have sooo, whatever. *shrugs* I'm not sure how it would look nor behave without facing but Edward's neckline is very sloppy and just rather shapeless, lol. Oh well, I'm not sure if I can remove it later because I am worried that, without the added support of the facing, the holes for the lacing would potentially end up damaging the fabric or some such (the holes go through both lacing and bodice and are hand-stitched together by the holes).

The product paper, incl. cross-sectional views.

I have already started work on Edward's pants so that's gonna be what part 2 will be about. Stay safe and have a nice day folks! Thanks for reading.

~ Shiro Samurai out.

Lens review: GEO Xtra Lotus Violet

Eeey, I'm back for one more!

Yep, one more lens review coming up for you folks and it's the GEO Xtra Lotus Violet, which can also be identified under their code ID number thingy WFL-A11. This is a big, super pretty and gleamy lens that has an almost ethereal touch to it. I surely like it!

Let's get this over with~

Base curve: 8.8 mm
Diameter: 14.8 mm

Water content: 40±2%

Life span: 1 year (I recommend 6 months)

GEO is a super popular lens brand and they have both big and small lenses available. The Xtra Lotus series belong on the big side, just like the Xtra in the name implies. The Xtra Lotus lenses are a part of GEO's Xtra Flower series. As with any genuine GEO lenses they should come with authenticity stickers that you can check up online to prove that your received pair is not a fake. Yes, counterfeit lenses exist so please be careful with from what store you buy your lenses from.

As always, put your lenses to soak at least overnight before wearing them for the first time. I always do that because my eyes are sensitive.

One lens in.

These lenses have a rather soft, mellow violet tone. It's not all over your face – in all honesty it's quite discreet and it goes well with my natural eye color. I have light eyes, a grayish blue and these lenses blend surprisingly well despite violet not being a natural color.
The design has these jagged, crystal-like patterns that make up the print in various colors, both gray and violet hues. I guess they are supposed to look like lotus flowers and they do, it's just that my first thought is of crystals. xD Whatever you see them as it is a really pretty, mesmerizing print and color! Oh and yeah, there is a dark, rather prominent black rim at the edges to create the illusion of even bigger eyes.

Lens photos below!

All photos taken by me during a January noon with a mostly clear sky and a really low-sitting sun because of polar night. There's no color filters or such on the close-up photos and that's so that the colors would be as true to real life as possible.

Natural room light indoors.

Yellow room light indoors.

Bathroom light.

Flash photo.

Unlit corridor. Poor natural light in the distance.

Facing the window, indoors. (not sun side)

Outdoors, back against sun. (facing wall)

Outdoors, facing sun while it's hidden behind a roof.

Outdoors, facing a glimpse of the sun.

I can't really grade comfort more than my first impressions allow, that's simply because sadly these lenses had expired before I got time to do this review. But from what I can tell they seemed super comfortable, really thin and invisible to wear despite the big size! Really comfortable all in all and I estimate that I could probably wear these for 4-5 hours, which is pretty good because my eyes are dry as all hell naturally. I guess it would be almost up to 7-8 hours if you have more, well, "normal eyes" hah.

This is a really beautiful, captivating lens with a precious sparkling design. I really like these, they are so pleasant to look at and really work well with my natural eye color. I wish I would have had more time with these lenses than just doing this review but oh well, no can do. I'd consider repurchasing these someday, especially for street fashion and fabulous days. They might work for cosplay too but I feel like they just might be a beauty lens first. Really lovely regardless. I swear there's something with the design and how it reflects light, in some angles, so that it looks like your eyes are shimmering.

Distance photo!

Want to see Xtra Lotus lenses in other colors?
I have reviewed a few: Gray, Green, Brown

Short summary:

Color: 8/10
Alluring and absolutely beautiful soft violet shade that looks amazing on light blue eyes.

Design: 8/10

A detailed lotus inspired print that looks like crystals. It's so precious and cute.

Opacity: 5/10

Due to the smooth blending and soft color these have a natural opacity. Hues of violet instead of full coverage.

Enlargement: 7/10

On the bigger side for sure, but they are not eating up my eyes. The perfect size.

Comfort: 7/10

Invisible to wear, thin and just really comfy all in all. Estimated wearing time 4-5 hours on super dry eyes.

Naturalness: 4/10

Save for the dark rim and size these are somewhat passable, at least from a distance, because the color is so delicate.

Thanks for reading! I hope you found this review to be of use~
Shiro Samurai out.

Lens review: I.Fairy Macaron Blue

Hello peeps!

Time to start the new year with a circle lens review and yes, I'm finally seeing an end to all these overdue reviews. x) Today I'm showing you all the I.Fairy Macaron Blue, a cute and super bright lens without any dark limbal ring.

Let's go!

Base curve: 8.6 mm

Diameter: 15.0 mm

Water content: 42%

Life span: 1 year (I recommend 6 months)

I remember having these lying around for years, I originally bought them completely out of curiosity and not because I actually needed them for anything, ya know? Sometimes you just want to try something for the hell of  it. Yeah, it happens.

Actually, for being an I.Fairy lens these are in fact not that big. I.Fairy lenses are typically huge and really moe but these are quite, umm, shall I say moderate? Of course they are still big but I think it is the design itself that somehow affects the illusion. Aaargh, I think I'm just rambling on at this point but I hope you get what I mean. xD

One lens in.

Okay so I popped one lens in and the color is insane! It's like this absolutely unapologetic neon blue  that makes you think of wild parties and pop art. It's super cool in its own way and if you like really colorful lenses that basically scream I HAVE CRAZY EYES then you'll probably dig these, lol. I do like them, not gonna lie – they are really intense, a bit freaky and just totally swag. I feel like this is a party lens or for anything that's supposed to be supernatural in some way?  

The design has these streaky parts running towards the center and the colored area, at least in comparison to most other circle lenses, is actually quite slim. Also, depending on your iris size these could potentially look really weird, especially if you know that you have small irises. I noticed that sometimes the outer rim of my natural iris would kinda peek out where the colored parts of the lens starts and this look equal parts cool and dumb depending on where your gaze is focused, aka if any white got between your eye's iris line and the lens or not.

Lens photos below!

All photos taken by me during a January noon with a mostly clear sky and a really low-sitting sun because of polar night. There's no color filters or such on the close-up photos and that's so that the colors would be as true to real life as possible.

Indoors, natural room light.

Indoors, yellow room light.

Bathroom light.

Unlit corridor. Poor distant natural light.

Flash photo.

Indoors, facing window. (not sun side)

Outdoors, back against sun. Facing wall.

Outdoors, facing the sun while it's hidden behind a roof.

Outdoors, catching a glimpse of the sun.

Comfort seems pretty okay based on my first impressions. I apologize but I can't grade these lenses for comfort (at least not fairly) because they had sadly expired by the time I got around to do this review, which means that I quite literally just took these photos and then immediately discarded the lenses. But from my short time wearing these I'd say that they felt really thin and almost invisible to wear. Overall they seemed comfortable but maybe a bit dryish or perhaps a slight, occasional irritation? I'm honestly not sure, it could just as well be my eyes because I do have really dry eyes naturally and trust me, it sucks monkey balls. :)) Oh well, I'd still estimate wearing time to be around the 3-5 hour mark on dry eyes, probably something like 4-6 hours on more "normal eyes", whatever that is.

What more can I say? I would recommend these lenses, especially if you are that kind of person who enjoys really funky and out-of-the-ordinary fashion styles. These will surely turn heads and they look far from natural (despite a lot of your real eye color showing in the middle) so it's a fun lens to spice things up and definitely great for parties and for costuming any supernatural beings like witches, warlocks, necromancers, spirits and such.

Distance photo below, eey.

Short summary:

Color: 9/10 
If you are looking for a super funky, intense neon blue, then I'd say you've found it.

Design: 7/10

It's simple but it works. If anything I do kinda wish the colored area would be larger but eh, it's fine as is.

Opacity: 9/10

If we only count opacity for the actually pigmented parts then hell yeah, these are covering!

Enlargement: 6/10

Big but not as big as you'd expect I.Fairy lenses to be, possibly due to the lack of a limbal ring.

Comfort: 7/10

Appears to be fine. Invisible and thin to wear, perhaps a bit drying? Expected 3-5 hours of wear time on super dry eyes.

Naturalness: 1/10

Ain't nobody got eyes like this, hahaha.

 Thanks for checking out this review! Have a good 2020!

Shiro Samurai out~

Year of Cosplay 2019

Hello peeps!

Okay, so 2019 is soon ending and it feels just as weird as all previous years. Even weirder when you stop for a moment and realize it's actually the end of not just another year but another decade depending on how you count. *chronophobia intensifies*

Honestly, I don't even know why I'm even doing this anymore. This feels like some meme joke at this point because my active cosplaying has been dwindling these past few years. Yeah, I know, I keep telling myself that next year will be better but it hasn't been yet, lmao! I'm still holding on to that hope that eventually I'll get back into it and to be honest I've had a few lightbulb moments this year and I think where I want to be heading next to get that long-gone enjoyment back. 

But before we get to that I'll post the traditional list of cons that I've attended this year below.

Kummacon - Oulu, Finland

Matsucon - Oulu, Finland

That's... literally it. I actually had to double check but it's true, I've only been to two small cons this  year and funnily enough both were in Oulu. I would have gone to Skecon too, as I've been there every year since its debut, but I got the sad news that for the first time ever there would simply be no Skecon in 2019. I am assuming that it's because of economical reasons as I know they've been struggling with that, but I also hope that things will get better and that Skecon will return next year. Would be a shame to see it go after all these years. :/ 

Okay so, umm, what can I say? 2019 has been almost non-existent in the cosplay department – it's my worst year to date. Like I have barely done anything cosplay related or well, I have, but it's not finished and I have not posted about it yet on this blog. ^^" The only cosplay related things I've posted about have been about Star Wars, namely the Luke Skywalker cosplay review and my time as a random Jedi at Kummacon. That's it. 

But honestly though, it's been refreshing. I've had time to charge my batteries and really think about how I want to do this geeky hobby in the future and I've come to the conclusion that, at least for a while, I will put priority on doing video game and western fandom cosplays and see how that makes me feel because hey, being a Jedi at Kummacon was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. Yeah I'll admit, it was a low effort cosplay but it had its merits and it actually made me less stressed about my costume and thus able to enjoy the convention more. I'm currently also working on a video game character cosplay at school, like hinted above, and I think the first WIP post about that will be out early 2020, so stay tuned for the reveal.

...

...

...

Hahaha. Just no.

There ain't gonna be a fancy actual cosplay compilation photo this year either. Simply because I only wore one cosplay and there's like only one photo of it, rip. xD Well at least I've started to get some clarity in what to do and slowly, maybe, the passion is creeping back in – hopefully it means that in 2020 I will get something new done. 

I have to say though that having watched Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker three times now in the cinema has given me a newfound hype and passion! I really, really want to cosplay a certain version of a character from the movie as soon as possible. Not giving details because of spoilers. I experienced such a massive wave of emotions and I can't stop thinking about it; the movie is very good and I'm not gonna lie, probably my favorite of all Star Wars movies to date. So yeah, I'm really hoping to get started on that particular cosplay soon as a genuine giddy excitement is there; it's been a longass time since I last felt so much for a fictional character.

Here's a little list of what I wore at the cons I attended this year:

Kummacon: Random Jedi, as in a nameless Jedi (OC?) that I threw together from both Jedi costume parts and parts from other things in my closet.

Matsucon: I was a part of the work force so I went casual.

As I only attended two cons this year I don't have much to pick from when it comes to which was my favorite. I enjoyed both but I'd pick Kummacon because of the refreshments from being in a new con building, the surprising amount of interactions I got in my Jedi garb and bonding with other Star Wars costumers.

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I think I've mentioned about everything I had planned to say something about. I really hope that 2020 will be better because 2019 was honestly just depressing as all fuck. I feel like I might be slowly getting back but I don't dare say anything for sure yet, but at least there are a few costumes right now that I really want to make and that's a good thing.

And before I leave this year behind I want to thank all my friends who are still supporting me, my readers and everyone else who happens to visit my blog – I hope you all have a fruitful new year ahead. Thank you so much for staying with me and checking out my ramblings in here. I will try to produce more actual cosplay content this coming new decace.

Bye bye & Happy New Year 2020!

Changes to the blog are coming

Hello guys!

It's been a silent month for me, I've been busy with other stuff and polar night keeps me from being able to do circle lens reviews. These dark months are the worst. ^^" But what I wanted to say is that there will be some changes coming to my blog very soon; this is mainly because I have decided that I will quit my lifestyle blog and move over any reviews that I want to save from there to this blog. I just don't have the motivation to keep it going and it feels a bit obsolete at this point, with social media making sharing a lot faster and easier.

This basically means that, from now on, my cosplay blog might also feature a few fashion and beauty reviews once in a blue moon. It's not completely unrelated to the cosplay and con culture, after all. I mean, if we're not in costume at an event then we're likely wearing some geeky or alternative apparel with pastel unicorns, skulls, game prints and galaxy cats on?? Have you ever looked at people on the street and thought to yourself, just based on how they're dressed, "that's probably a congoer" and it turns out you were absolutely right? I know I have. :'D
And well, when it comes to cosplay – various beauty products are constantly used for enhancing your looks to better suit the character you're doing, more than just colored lenses. So I feel like it fits right in. Especially because I've also started to feel comfortable trying new things. *shrugs*

Have a nice weekend everybody, I'm out!

Messy thoughts about cosplay and shifting interests

Hello folks!

I've thought about making this blog post for a long time now but never really got around to it. I'm currently stuck with the flu for the second time this month and figured, as I have nothing else to really post well I do have like fifteen WIP drafts from years back but ssch, no one knows that now is the perfect time to get this out of my system. I'm gonna apologize in advance because this will most likely get long and all over the place so yeah, you've been warned.

Let's go!

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So basically I've been feeling that my interest in cosplay has been dwindling since the last couple years or more. I don't know when exactly it started but I sure know that being locked out of my MyAnimeList account for more than two years did add to it – yes, I only got access back on September this year and that means that I quite literally did not watch any anime in two years as it bothers me like hell if I can't keep tabs on what I'm watching. The weird part is that during this off time I came to notice that I had no real, compelling urge to watch anime nor did I really grow any kind of fomo (fear of missing out) about new series. I didn't read any manga either, save for one exception which was a one-shot, so I don't really count that. And even though my account is back now I still haven't felt like watching anything, even though my "plan to watch" list is very long...

All of this made it so that I started feeling like I had somehow grown out of the "weeb phase" and I felt really weird about it. Like being this anime and manga nerd has been my thing for so long, a big part of my identity. But it just doesn't click as much as before, I don't feel the same excitement when new series are revealed etc and I feel like I should sell a lot of my previously hoarded anime merchandise. When I look at my 40 odd something Bleach mangas I feel a strong urge to sell them at the next best con, lol.
Even my future cosplay list feels like it's in need of an overhaul... and when I look at said cosplay list I realize that almost all the characters left are from video games or western sources like movies. And that's when it hit me.

Maybe my interests are shifting from anime and manga cosplays to video games, fantasy and movies?

It's not really that I don't feel like cosplaying from anime/manga or that I would be "growing out of it" (whatever that means) but I have been having these specific thought demons that have been getting more and more loud as the years have passed. We can start by asking y'all – I'm pretty sure no one has missed how I've done very few, if any, new costumes these past years, right? While there's many reasons that contribute to it the main thing is a combination of lack of money and a lack of energy and motivation hello mental illness my old friend. Now, with manga and anime there's a neverending stream of series available (it's overwhelming!) and I don't know if it's just me or not but I tend to lose interest in series that I have finished really fast. Alarmingly fast, in fact. Like most times as soon as I start watching a new anime I will almost completely drop interest in the previous one, unless I had a particularly strong emotional connection to it. And even then it's unstable for long-time commitment.
It's not uncommon that by the time my ordered wig arrives for a character that, umm, I've already dropped the idea to cosplay said character in favor of something else. And now I have a random wig lying around, which isn't too bad... until there's like over twenty of them in all colors of the rainbow and you sit there and realize how much money you wasted on them. So there I am, with a hole in my wallet and I feel how the dread of "what am I gonna do with all of these things?" slowly kicks in. I could have used all that money for a costume that I would actually wear.

Wigs en masse.

After several of my "what am I doing with my life" ponderings I came to realize that what my remaining cosplay candidates had in common was that they all, more or less, were somehow either related to my childhood or to video games that I've played for a long time. Examples would be characters like Shin Kazama from Area 88, which is an anime/manga but I knew it as a Super Nintendo game from my childhood first – and that's why interest hasn't dropped even if the costume is on ice right now. Other examples would be Pokémon and Monster Hunter. I still want to do an armor set to match my Eldaora's Taus Hunting Horn and I have several Pokémon gijinkas that I designed years ago that I still want to do (although some need redesigns).

The point is that I feel like investing into a video game or "western" cosplay right now is a safer option for me. Many movies are popular and achieve cult/classic status years after their release (note: I'm not saying that anime don't do it!), with super strong and dedicated fanbases and I honestly would, in my current mindset, be a lot more inspired and comfortable to make a Lord of the Rings costume over let's say a Fruits Basket cosplay. I enjoy both of course but I feel like I've hit a stale point with anime cosplays and I want to try discovering new ground and fandoms that I only lightly stepped into before. It's a bit the same thing how I've been growing more and more interested in trying live-action roleplay and Dungeons & Dragons.
And I guess working at a cinema and noticing how several of my friends have been turning more and more towards embracing their western popculture roots is affecting me too – after all, cosplay is almost always more enjoyable with friends. I'm seriously longing for Pirates of the Caribbean groups, Harry Potter groups and Disney and Pixar groups! 
I feel like it's more important than ever right now for me to connect back to my childhood and teenage years because that's what gives me motivation to actually start and finish a cosplay, not just the "flavor of the season" anime that dies as suddenly as it came. I really need that extra burst to get anything done right now because I've been stuck in a horrible depression spiral for years now and any progress is good progress at this point.
Not to mention that I'm convinced that any western fandom cosplays I make will last me a lot longer and thus I won't feel so much dread and anguish over only wearing a cosplay once or twice and then feeling like "it's so yesteryear" or worrying that my friends will lose interest before I do. The thing is that I honest to god can't afford single-wear costumes because my economy is really bad and it stresses me the fuck out every day I'm alive so yeah, every costume counts and has to be worth every penny – and preferably be rewearable, aka inspiring to wear, for a long time. I feel absolute shit over unfinished costumes still lingering in my closet, especially because I know that I'm unlikely to ever get some of them done, not gonna lie.

Also, I've noticed that I don't have as much fun as I want to believe that I have when I go to cons alone. Heck, most times I haven't even been able to arse myself to cosplay when I'm going solo. I really need to be surrounded by friends to thrive and not fall into a pit of very loud anxiety. So hey, if any of my friends are reading this then let's plan something together for 2020?

tl;dr - I've lost that excitement for cosplay since years back and I'm slowly realizing that maybe it's not that I'm "growing out of it" as much as it is that my interests are changing from eastern to western pop culture and fandoms. I need to embrace my favorite video games and movies because those are the ones that are likely to keep me interested and motivated through the whole project – and the risk of losing interest after wearing the costume once or twice is minimal. Peace of mind, saved money and nostalgy. Win-win.

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I'm probably forgetting to mention like one hundred things but hey, I have the flu so my brain is not the most present. I might follow this up with another thoughts and reflections style post? 

Please do note that this is not a "I will not do/wear any anime or manga cosplays ever again" exclamation, far from it! I will still do them but right now I really feel like I need to move away for a moment and dig on the other side of the trench, to refind that happiness and motivation which made cosplay fun in the first place.

Thank you for reading these messy ramblings, if anyone did. Have you had similar thoughts? I'd love to hear your stories!

~ Shiro Samurai out.